Insta-parent - Warning labels

M was up all night, puking like clockwork every two hours. I'm off work today, and totally feeling like a parent as I try to figure out how to keep him hydrated. No other symptoms, just totally barfing. Had to pull out the big guns - called my mom. Didn't get anything new, though, so we pour on the gatorade and everyone gets to take a nap today. (It feels decadent to take a day off work when I'm not actually sick...)

Anniversary!

So - coming up on some "big" dates soon - my one year anniversary. Hmmm... paper anniversary. Does that mean we exchange credit card bills or something? Who says romance is dead - perhaps we can update our wills together, or sign papers putting money into a retirement account. The first year has gone well - about as stressful as I thought - moving, new school, new job, paying my own bills - but I am applying "disciplined" Zen. Deep breaths, a mantra of "does this really matter" and a lot of backrubs. Seems to be working.
Anyway, my friend is going to take M dragon boating and around DC, so that A and I can have a nice night together. I miss the pre-wedding/ dating phase, when we talked about politics and economics - instead of little league practice. Marriage is hard work, but I think even knowing that fact makes it easier to improve upon.

The Ups and Downs of Daily Life

Alternately thrilled to be a mom/wife, and missing the good ole' days of being a swinging single. Analysis of weekend - Fri night watched TV - programs suitable for kids. Drank some wine. Saturday - Read papers for work. Went to mall to buy sweaters. Posted letters at post office (this was actually a great victory - meant to do it for ages.) Took belly dancing class. Ordered pizza for dinner (big treat.) Sunday. Slept in - cleaned house - went to H&R Block w/ A to file taxes - Went to gym w/ A - did weekly grocery shopping w/ A - helped M with catch-up hmework after his week of flu. Who says romance is dead - look at all the quality time with my hubby! Not complaining, just observing - and looking longingly at an overseas tour...

Visitors

Two friends I haven't seen in years have independently e-mailed to say they're in town! One from each overseas tour. I love it when people keep in touch and appear out of the blue.

Slacking Off

Some days even the weather is telling you to stay in bed. I did - as long as I could - but I had to come into work. Why? Pressing business? No - pretty much the fact that everyone else in my office is out sick, has scheduled doctor's appointments, or is just taking time off. Could it be the fact that our boss is training this week? I think I feel a nasty 24-hour cold coming on tomorrow. The key is maintaining credibility. Sick enough, but not avian flu. That's the key. Or - use the old honest -but-not-really version. i.e. you do have a Doctor's appointment, but that doesn't mean you need 6 hours off, or yes, you have a headache and are too tired to come in, but only because you watched 8 straight hours of "I Love the 80s" last night.....
Yep. Definitely feeling sickness in advance.

Foreign ASSistance

So, Condi is making some changes to foreign assistance and how the U.S. Government engages in Transformational Diplomacy. What does this mean for my office, which has Congressional authority to oversee assistance in Eastern Europe & the Former Soviet region? Unclear, although in the Q&A it was pointed out that we are a model, and will be referred to as assistance is given an overhaul. I expect a call from Condi anyday now.
And what does it mean for USAID, which wasn't quite subsumed, but isn't quite as independent. All very confusing, and I feel badly for my AID colleagues - uncertainty abounds. At least with me, I do my job and bid an another at the end of the year. Uncertainty is the status quo.

Hiatus & Near-Death Experience

The thing about blogging versus my e-mail updates is the scope of the life event. A big thing inspires a mass e-mailing- something I think everyone would be interested in. Blogging seems quite mundane.

A 10-ton tree hit my parents' house on Saturday night, knocking a giant hole in the top of the house, and flipping downwards to damage the kitchen as well. Big windstorm blew it over, directly into the third floor of the house - in face, the bed that my son had slept in the night before took the brunt of the hit. He thinks it was quite cool that he was almost a pancake. Thankfully, we were in NYC, and so the "hit" only almost-killed my parents (3 feet and a windowsill saved their lives - yikes!) So. My parents are sanguine - they have for the first time read their homeowners policy, which apparently covers this type of accident. They're rather excited about the remodeling and mom keeps talking about putting solar panels in the roof.

Personally, I think they should do something to the tree company that just last year stated that the tree was healthy. Apparently, when it fell it was honeycombed throughout, and obviously rotten. My parents were concerned about the treefall and have, in fact, taken down 6 similar trees for this reason. I mean, I don't believe in suing for the sake of it, but the company should be told off for not doing its job properly.

New York

Went for the day for a meeting. Total waste of time. Great coffee with friend and lunch with another. Then a useless meeting. And my ordered car missed the turnoff for La Guardia. Don't know if you know the area, but we spent an hour in rush hour traffic trying to get to the flippin' airport. A tour or Queens if you will. I missed my 6:30 flight, alhough I did manage to learn an African French patois language by osmosis. He even dropped me off at the wrong terminal. I made the 7:30 shuttle. Which was late. Possibly the longest "work" day in history!
I also got to buy M a gift at FAO Shwartz. Fantazzy!

Repetitive Song Syndrome

Serbia beat Bosnia in soccer to qualify for the World Cup. I don't cover any of those countries, but did stop to muse on the fact that the Bosnian fans were protected in a cage during the game. That's not normal... except that I've been to enough European sporting events to know that it's actually quite correct to protect minority fans (i.e. the visiting team - no ethnic connotation there) from marauding majority fans.

Title of blog entry: Can't get the darn "Albania, you border on the Adriatic" song out of my head, and now everyone in the office is singing it.

Only appropriate, as I'm off to Tirana (the capital of Albania) for a week - leaving this afternoon. Last chance to request souvenirs.

But how do you get these songs out of your head? The only way I've found usually involves getting a more annoying song in its place, i.e. "Kokomo" by the Beach Boys, but redone as "Kosovo." (Check the New York Times for some background on that one - I'll look for the link.)

Anyone out there?

Kosovo was great - no one shot at me. My time in Georgia has definitely jaded me, though. There is great discussion of how poor this region is in comparison to Europe. And yet - they were light years ahead of most of rural Georgia, economically and democratically (I'm willing to debate on this topic...) Example: an individual receiving aid told me that a refrigerator is a "basic necessity." Um, no. Especially in a place with sporadic electricity! A culture of dependence is an evil thing....

Off to Albania mid-month. Can't wait - did you know there's a song? Check here in the comments. I will enjoy sitting on the coast of the Adriatic - but not as much as a weekend in Vienna. One of the great ironies of my current life is that I can't afford my rent, but I can travel to Europe frequently. Ah, well, as Maire Antoinette said, "Let them eat Austrian Air fingerfood at the Business Class lounge!" Or something similar.

Sorry to be loopy - we haven't gone out much lately. I must reemerge from my cubicle....

Bubble, Bubble, Toil & Trouble?

I am in Week 2 of my new job - largely adjusting to the mountains of paper and copious e-mails that between them threaten to engulf me. My office looks much like a prison cell, largely due to the frosted glass sliding door and the bare walls, devoid of anything but one picture of the hubby and son. I suppose this will change, and I'll soon have the typical Dept collection of eclectic tchotchke from countries no one in their right mind would ever travel to as a tourist. I can hardly wait!
It looks like I'll be travelling a lot for the next few months, between visiting family and familiarizing myself with the countries I'll be handling. Not sure of the effect of this on my attempts to establish some sort of familial routine. - Hard to call in a good night when you're 6 hours ahead!
Our house is fantastic, I'm glad I splurged on the rent. Super neighborhood, I can walk to the Metro, there's a veggie garden, all of the neighbors are sufficiently nosy (i.e. they will notice men in balaclavas, but hopefully not pay attention if I have to run by a window in my undies.)
The weather is best described as being the live lobster in the lobster pot. Sweat, grime and heavy sticky air. Ah, the joys of the swamp that is DC. I'm now one of those '80s working women - you know, in a suit and sneakers, change at the desk. A major fashion faux pas, but since it's a mile walk in the course of getting to work, I'm ensuring the future health of my tootsies. I am still wearing skirts, too, even though my legs are severely black and blue from moving (and dropping) furniture. I'll sacrifice them again when our stuff actually arrives, a week after never at this rate.

So, a lengthy update, but we're all fine, adjusting well to life in the U.S. and we haven't gotten any fatter, so I've checked off all the boxes on my to-do list!

When are vacations long enough?

A & M have survived their first 4th of July patriotic extravaganza. M is still in sugar-shock from the cotton candy and red-white-blue gum, "lollies" and other holiday desserts. We had fireworks, we had Bud beer in cans (for the adults) there were Target T-shirts for the family with great slogans, and there were lots of parties. We had tom decompress with Chester-burgers at the beach, bodysurfing and the occasional game of golf. It's been really rough.
But on the other hand, trying to process all of the paperwork involved in getting married, changing health and life insurance and registering from school is driving me crazy. Maybe I'm just creating artificial stress, but I tell you, it's just as tough to get things done from NY as it was from Wellington. BUT - I'm planning to chain myself to some desks come July 18-19 in DC, so if you're in the area, look out for us! Until then, we're making pina coladas to mask my pain at having to return to work August 1. ;-)

Home Again? Or another Foreign Post?

Hello, all! We have safely arrived in the land of cholestorol, big guns and American flags. God bless the USA! A has noted a few changes - the size of electrical cables, the existence of water towers, big cars, more different colored people, and lots of smog. And more big cars. He's also noticed the beauty of outlet shopping, and is the proud owner of a pair of $18 Adidas trainers, as well as a full and "styley" set of Tommy Bahama summer wear. Is this why he married me? ;-) I noticed some differences, too. People really are fatter here. And having to stand in the non-American line at immigration at LAX - I know why people don't like us. I suppose the INS was doing their best, but the line was inefficient and unnecessarily long. We think TV screens showing images of the US would have made the wait much better.
And on to the most important thing for any Kiwi - the food. As expected, the coffee here is crap. We buy full-fat milk, and the checkout people look at us funny. But meat is cheap, and the supermarket here is the size of Lower Hutt in NZ. (i.e. very, verybig.) A can't drink water from the tap, which is odd, but he's taken to Miller Genuine Draft. (Thanks to B in Wellington for that, humph!) No accounting to taste...
No one understands A when he talks, asking him to repeat himself, and all of M's fellow campers think he's Australian. There is a South African tennis coach here, so at least the boys are getting a fix of talking trash about Rugby teams.
So, we are settling in and will write more, but we're on dial-up and it's the slowest thing ever! Missing our Kiwi pals, and hoping to connect with more of you guys in the States. We're off to visit the pinnacle of capitalism - our local outlet mall, in order to purchase more needless items for huge discounts.

Welcome to all my new groupies!

Please leave large cash donations... well, as soon as I set up PayPal here ;-)
I've attached the e-mail that brought you, but sadly I have no wedding photos yet. My home internet is too slow, and I can't use a work computer to download a photo program, so you'll just have to be patient. I can, however, e-mail you a picture if you'd like - just let me know.

Hello all! You've probably been wondering where I've been. Or is that perhaps a very egotistical thing to think? Perhaps you haven't noticed at all that I haven't sent out a mass e-mail recently. How sad... I'd like to think that the reason you haven't written is because - as in When Harry Met Sally - you've been trapped under something heavy, and are still recovering from the ordeal.
Regardless, I am now married as of May 21. To Aaron, who comes with an awesome 10 year old son named Michael. We are moving to northern Virginia in three weeks, and I start my new job in DC August 1. So, that should be enough change to satisfy us for, well, forever. Lots of stress. But rather than take 3 days to send this e-mail update to everyone and give you the down and dirty, I refer you to my blog, which up until now has been rather quietly beta-tested by some of you. Check in every so often to find out new tidbits, and to see how my "quirky" writing style is developing. I won't blog every day, but when the mood strikes, as you'll notice.
Enjoy, and I'd love to hear from you. Once I have a real address and phone number in the States, our spare bedroom will be open to all houseguests. Send me an e-mail if you'd like to touch base while I'm back in the good old U.S. of A.
All our best,D, A and M

I'm Officially Married!!

On Saturday, May 21, A and I made if official in front of God and (2) Countries. As befits a wedding that I had a hand in, there was laughter during the vows, drinking during the ceremony and crying during the toasts. There was more family than you could shake a stick at - and with 15 small kids, there was a lot of stick-shaking.
As I said during my impromptu remarks, it really touched me to be surrounded by so many people who care deeply about our future and who have pledged to support us in our marriage - especially since 90% of the people there were complete strangers less than two years ago. Such is the nature of my job, and, hopefully, A's and my outlook on life that we make good friends quickly and easily. With a lot of travel in our future, let's hope so!
And now, all of the houseguests and family have departed. I have started the Immigration process for the boys, and am gearing up for the big move back to the States. I had no idea it would take so much out of me emotionally and physically. I remember watching a TV show "Bridezilla" with A a few months ago and laughing at these deranged women. And then - the week before the wedding - I became the taskmaster from hell. Crying, yelling, snarking - you name it. I think I just took on too much - all of the final details, 7 houseguests, trying to provide a normal life for M, and training my replacement to take over my job. Did I mention that we move countries in 4 weeks? I'm still exhausted, and may do nothing this weekend but write thank you notes. I'm not superwoman. Hard for me to say, but admitting it takes a lot of the burden off.
Thank you everyone who made our wedding special - it really was fantastic, and let me know if you'd like to see pictures when they come out. Besos.

I Dream... But Get Stuck In Details

I Dream...
Of a lot of things, some fairly mundane, and some a bit more earth-shattering, world-size. Perhaps I shouldn't say "dream" for some of them, since they sound more like a to-do list than aspirations. I mean I Dream: Of Being Able to someday speak Russian fluently. Of taking a photography class and recording my life, since I have a slightly battered if not crushed dream of maintaining a daily journal of my life as a glamorous (or mundane) diplomat. The dream was strongly hit by the death of my home laptop when our son's babysitter, who is a friend's 15 year old kid thought it would be neat to check out some porn - which his parents don't let him do at home for obvious reasons. Well, he downloaded a trojan that has left me with nought but strippers on my hard drive. No journal, no photos of my budding relationship with soon-to-be hubby, no detailed inventory of my things that I use for moving. On the flip side, as a huge pack rat, it does mean I finally have an excuse for deleting every joke and cheesy photo that people have sent that I felt guilty about exorcising from my disk. Lighten and brighten as mom says! Ummm, yes, what was I saying about dreams? Lately my dreams have involved showing up at the wedding to find that there aren't any cars, and I have to drive all the guests around in groups of 3.

I also dream of being an Ambassador. Or a successful mother of successful kids. Or running an international mail-order shoe store that supplies only women's shoes over a size 10.

Nothing to report

No, really. Wedding planning is on-going. We're going to see the Hurricanes tackle the Highlanders in tonight's Super 12 Rugby game (Go 'Canes!) I'm having a garage sale tomorrow in preparation for moving, and in recognition of the fact that we're getting some nice presents for the wedding. I had no idea how much of my clothing I have owned since the end of high school. It's hard to let go, but man - what was I thinking? Like the flower patter jumper was going to come back in style? I actually found myself wanting to keep stuff "for when I get pregnant." What?!? Like I'm going to want to wear that 1989 Gap oversize shirt just because it will fit over some hypothetical baby bump? Rationality was been inserted into the process, largely by A. He is bringing to this marriage a dining suite and two beds. And about 10 pounds of clothes for both he and M. They own almost nothing - he is the anti-pack-rat. For those of you who still have your 2nd grade short story/art collection, it is unfathomable. And I fall into that category. But my system now is to put the clothes in a box for about a month. If I don't go looking for it at all, I don't need it, and it can go.

Selling stuff is also a GREAT excuse to go out and shop.

It's a lot of self-absorption

I have become one of those terrible people who speak incessantly about themselves, and usually on only one topic. I assume that my upcoming wedding is the most fascinating thing in the world, and others are dying for the latest update on how I have matched the placecards with the ring pillow - which I have. See - I'm doing it again!! But while I expect interest in the wedding, I am suffering from great guilt over the shower and the bachelorette party. I invited people to these events as a means of showing that they were included in my life, even if I couldn't afford to take everyone to the actual party. Now they all feel obligated to buy gifts. Sort of an uncomfortable feeling. The "gimme" aspect is not what this is all about, though I'm not so principled as to refuse to accept presents. Part of it, too, is that my man and I are in our thirties. If we've gotten this far with ratty old dishtowels, we can probably go out and buy our own. My good friend here and organizer of the shower (bless her!) keeps saying that it's a way for people to express their happiness. I wish I could believe that more, since I really think the consumer culture has subsumed a lot of folks' good feelings. Perhaps I should be less cynical and just enjoy? Definitely.

Hot. DAMN hot. So Damn Hot...

I read once long ago that you can be best of friends and not be able to tolerate travel together, and be mortal enemies who can endure otherwise withering cross-country car rides with nary a conflict over radio station or Cracker Barrel vs. Waffle House. Actually, that's not quite what I read, but more my own stamp on an old idea. I have a few friends that I travel with splendidly - we have the same interests, the same clean/dirty ration tolerance on accomodation, food and overall hygiene (in order: some bugs OK, no bugs OK, a little dirt never hurt.) Some of my dearest friends, however, who pull me out of despair, are indespensible at cocktail parties and receptions with a visiting Queen make me want to jump out of any mutually confining moving object after 2 minutes. This does NOT make them "bad" in any way - travel is a highly personalized form of self-expression. I loved wandering the interior of Azerbaijan and staying in a place with no lights, a walk to the loo, mosquitoes and a lot of gold teeth. Fabulous vacation! But lest you think I am ranting against those who are not strictly the Four Seasons, give-me-namebrand-soap-or-give-me death-types, I have a confession to make.
I am in Samoa. For the weekend I went to "the big island" of Savaii - normally a two day trip I condensed into one. I stayed in a "romantic" beach fale in Salelologa. Yeah, right. I arrived to find a rather run-down collection of grass huts (a beach fale has, by nature, no walls, just grass matting, so I expected that.) My particular "chalet" was very open, giant cockroaches, mosquitoes everywhere, an aggressive cat, and an amorous local staff member. Perhaps it wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't stayed at Samoa's premier resort for the preceding two weeks? I was very unhappy, and if there had been a Four Seasons within 1000 miles, I would have been on it in no time flat.
I hate heat. Especially damp, humid heat. I get cranky and irrational. (Hey, stop nodding, you!) I have never performed well when hot, hence my penchant for Russia. And so I, too, am a fussy traveller. I thought I could handle "roughing it" and laugh off a tough time. But perhaps I am getting older? Or perhaps travelling alone is losing its romantic, introspective, Jack-Kerouac overtones? I just felt old, tired, sweaty and smelly. I fly out to NZ tonight, and can hardly WAIT to take a shower.
But I'm still up for touring Central Asia in a rented car if anyone wants the challenge - it'll just have to be in late Fall or early Spring...
The title is from Good Morning, Vietnam, FYI.

Antarctic Dreams Rained Out

Many of you may have seen the movie "Groundhog Day" with Bill Murray. I am living it. Instead of returning from a fantastic trip to McMurdo station in Antarctica, I am on Day 4 of waking up in Christchurch with a 4:45 AM phone call calling off the trip for 24 hours. Actually, that's not true. Wednesday morning we got on the plane and flew three hours before we had to turn around. Apparently the weather down there is crazy - it's snowing and moist - almost like rain. But it NEVER rains in Antarctica, so apparently global warming, believe in it or not, has affected weather patterns. And so.... I am hanging out in Christchurch, rapidly running out of clean clothes. If we don't go Friday morning, I'm going to have to throw in the towel, and head back to Wellington, my dreams of an Antarctic exploration dashed forever. (Note the tone of melodrama and self-pity... I think it springs from being bored, bored, bored!)
My next e-mail will contain more exciting info, like wedding details and the weather report for Wellington!
Signing off, awash with self-pity ;-) Dorothy